we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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