you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
