piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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