i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
