I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
