can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
