I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
