So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
