Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
