She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
