wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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