I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my phone needs a breathalizer
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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