everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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