i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
