For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
