You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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