You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
