3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
