so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
