Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize