I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
