Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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