it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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