Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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