dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
True strength comes from lack of pants
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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