so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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