have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
