I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
