I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
