I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
