Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
