your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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