Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
