no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
