Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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