Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
