do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
