I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
