I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
