I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This is the high leading the old right now
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
