Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So squirting runs in the family.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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