we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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