Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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