My hand turned me down
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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