I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
More tranny stories later!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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