"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
