Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
