what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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