At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
