not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
