The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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