goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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