I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
