it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
