What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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