She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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