You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
