Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
