If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
only you would photoshop your dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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