Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
