Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My butt remains clenched, sir.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
